Growing Up In Sin City

I was planning on doing a quick social media post on an observation I witnessed yesterday while volunteering at JAM's school yesterday. However, the more I thought about it the more I felt compelled to make it into a full blown blog post because it's something Mahal and I talk about all the time. As most of you may know, our little family moved to Las Vegas, NV right after JAM's 2nd birthday. Mahal and I always joke around how JAM is basically a "Las Vegan" and not a "Chicagoan" anymore since he's currently lived most of his life in Vegas. Mahal and I  always reminisce on our up-bringing and experiences as children growing up in Chicago and sometimes hate that JAM won't have the opportunities to create similar memories since his environment is completely different.

We try to make JAM's childhood as "normal" as possible but I always wonder what affects this city has on the upbringing of children who live here. From  the flashy casinos, the half nude women on billboards, people walking around with liquor, and the star-studded events, I always wonder if JAM really even notices. M little sister and I spent whole summers here visiting my dad since I was 10 years old. I remember loving how everything was lit on the Strip, especially simple things like the McDonald's and Walgreens. I also remember walking through the Strip as a teenager and was like thinking "OMG" when I looked down at the sidewalks and saw all the "business cards" of nude women or remember looking at newspaper stands and thinking "whoa, that's not a newspaper". Besides that, we spent most of our summers off the Strip with family so it was kind of an out of sight, out of mind scenario with that type of exposure.

Living so close to the Strip, JAM sees the same things I did as a kid and asks questions but in general it didn't seem like most of it rarely phased him. He was more interested in the guy dressed up as Bumblebee from 'Transformers'. However, as I sat in the corner of JAM's classroom yesterday stapling piles of papers for his teacher, I was quickly reminded that these kids pick up a lot more than I thought. The students gathered together in the front of the classroom to brainstorm occupations for their "what do you want to be when you grow up?" writing assignment. I thought, "Oh, this is too cute. I'm going to hear the typical doctor, lawyer, firefighter, police officer type of response." I was actually pretty shocked when NONE of those options came up. It began with students mentioning jobs that their parents did like a truck driver and a construction worker. I loved that they looked up to their parents in that fashion. After that, I ended up stopping what I was doing and just watched the students as they continued to shout out their dream occupations. "I want to be a hotel housekeeper! I want to be a casino manager! I want to be a star! I want to be a singer and make lots of money! I want to be a magician! I want to be an acrobat! I want to be a dress maker for celebrities!" Eventually the teacher tried to elaborate on other types of jobs that you can still do on the Strip like a chef of your own restaurant or an architect who builds the beautiful building on the Strip. That's when kids started stating jobs like a teacher, a principal, and JAM eventually said he wanted to me a police man.

 
The teacher sent the students to their desks to create their brainstorming sheet for their writing assignment. They were supposed to write down their dream occupation and three reasons why they chose that occupation. I walked around the classroom just to see what the kids wrote and most of them chose jobs paired with reasons such as "to make lots of money" or "I can live in a hotel". One of JAM's reasons why he chose to be a police officer was so he "could arrest bad guys who are drunk driving". I was kind of surprised by that. I've heard of kids who wanted to arrest bad guys but to add the drunk driving situation was interesting to me. I don't feel like choosing these occupations as a kid's "dream job" is necessarily a bad thing, but it was definitely interesting to witness.

Have you seen any influences like this with your child?

Preventing Childhood Obesity

The hardest thing about my weight loss journey is portion control. I grew up in a household where there was always four or five different meal options to choose from and not finishing the food on your plate wasn't an option. Eating the proper portions were never a thing that was brought up in the house, and I've sadly carried that trend into my own little family. This past year was all about making a lifestyle change to not only lose weight but to live a healthier lifestyle overall. The deeper I got into this journey, the more I realized that it needed to be a household thing not just an individual process. I couldn't try to improve my own health without teaching JAM and Mahal what I'm learning along the way. Clearly there was some hesitation from the both of them because they've seen how my eating habits have slowly changed and they weren't sure if they wanted to be a part of that. In my opinion, the best way to make a change is to make it fun.

I'm so happy to be supporting Fresh Baby in their mission to prevent childhood obesity. I'm a firm believer that our children are our future and change definitely starts with them. I wouldn't say that JAM is obese, but I do know that we could definitely eat a little healthier as a family. JAM naturally plays a lot of sports and being the rowdy little boy that he is, it's not that hard to convince his to run around and play outside with his friends as a method of daily exercise. However, he wasn't too on board when he heard the words "more fruits and veggies", "more lean meats" or "less processed foods", which was totally understandable. Fresh Baby not only made this lifestyle change easy for JAM, they made it easy for the whole family on our mission to healthier eating.

Fresh Baby teamed with the USDA to help families like ours to determine "What's the right amount of food for my family's plate?" Kids love new, shiny "toys" so when JAM saw the package from Fresh Baby on our doorstep he was super excited to find out what was inside. Fresh Baby provided us with: a Let's Move Foam Puzzle, a Kid's 4-Section Plate, an Adult 4-Section plate, a Kid's Portion Tip Card, an Adult Water Bottle, a Mom's Water Bottle, a Kid's Water Bottle, and a Kid's Apron (all the thoughts and opinions written about these products are completely my own).

The awesome thing about Fresh Baby's website is they offer a ton of articles, recipes, and downloadable tips sheets to help ease the transition to healthier eating. The USDA takes it a step further on their site www.choosemyplate.gov and offers tools like the Super Tracker which offers a variety of interactive features to help you manage weight, set goals, and even journal your progress. JAM was already introduced to the food groups in school, but we still went over the Kid's Portion Tip Card together. I was honestly shocked at how far off our home portion sizes were compared to USDA recommendations. For some categories, I was serving JAM double or even triple the recommended serving amount! So, to help re-wire BOTH of our brains, JAM threw on his Kid's Apron and started helping me prepare dinner every day so that we worked together in preparing healthier meals. The Kid's and Adult 4-Section plates make portion sizing fool proof at dinner time. JAM had a blast using his special plate and filling in each food group on it. One important thing we learned during this journey was how important it was to drink a lot of water. The provided water bottles made it super easy to make sure we were getting enough daily intake and we used the tools on the USDA website to track all of that. JAM would fill up his fun, kid's water bottle, clip it to his belt loop on his shorts, and off he went to play with his friends outside.

Fresh Baby and the USDA definitely gave us the eye opener we needed when they provided my family with these awesome tools for healthier eating. Thank you so much for getting us on the right track and we will definitely continue this lifestyle change into the future. I'm definitely proud to help prevent childhood obesity starting with my own child right at home.

What healthy eating steps are you practicing at home?

Childhood Bullies

I mentioned before that when I was in Kindergarten, I got bullied on the school bus from day one. I didn't do anything to provoke it. I simply got on the bus and sat down directly behind the bus driver to only be called a "chink" and have things thrown at me from the back of the bus by a 4th grade boy. Once my mom found out she was FURIOUS and typical mom, she got on the bus the next day, found the boy, and basically told him to leave me alone. The bus driver said that he would look out for me and he did. My bus driver, Mr. Frank, became my hero that year. My mom told the principal about it and my principal scheduled a meeting with my mom and the boy's mom. That's when we found out why the little boy acted the way he did. His mom was the same way! My mom described her as a racist as well as a few other not so nice things. His mom used to volunteer at my school and when she'd supervise on the playground she'd be so mean to me after the meeting with my mom. She wouldn't let me have one of the playground balls or would always yell at me for no reason. I'd tell my teacher and the mom would basically say that I was a liar. Long story short, my mom handled it and I never got bullied again after that kindergarten year. Oddly enough I ran into my bully when I got to high school. I told him how much of a jerk he was to me and asked him why? He said he honestly didn't remember doing any of those things to me and sincerely apologized. He explained his upbringing and said how he's matured and is nothing like his family anymore. It was shocking that he didn't remember any of it when it was such a traumatizing part of my life.

So yesterday, JAM gets off the bus and he has a bloody lip and a stain of blood on his shirt! I freak and I asked him what happened. He said that a big kid pulled his arm for no reason, which made him fall and hit his lip on another kid's knee that was in the aisle. You can tell that he was holding back tears and I asked him what's wrong. He started tearing up and said he doesn't know why that big kid did that. My heart broke, but I was furious! Honestly, I wanted to hunt this kid down and kick his you know what! BUT clearly that's not the right thing to do so we talked about it. I asked him if the kid was picking on him or if it was an accident. JAM said that it wasn't an accident. We went on and on about it and I was trying to understand the situation more. Since JAM was real little we've always talked about bullying: What to do if he sees it and what to do if he's a victim. We've also always told him that we are his safe zone. He can always come to us if it happens. He won't get in trouble if he tells us and we won't cause a scene and embarrass him in front of his peers (since that seems to be his biggest concern).

My son is such a social butterfly. He makes friends real easily and he always sees the good in people. He loves making new friends, but as parents we try to explain to him the difference between bullies, friends, and people who just try to use you. Sometimes if I see it happening I'll pull him aside and explain it to him to show what real friends shouldn't do, but in the end he always just says "They are my friends, and I just want to play". I still try to make him aware of it from time to time, but I figured he'll just have to learn like I did as a kid. Plus, what do you really expect from a 6 year old? After this incident happened it made me sad when he couldn't understand why this big kid was mean to him when he didn't do anything. I could see it in his eyes. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. We simply talked it out until we both felt better. We talked some more about bullying and friends. I even showed his a few YouTube videos to show him a different perspective.

Mahal said that it easily could have been an accident that the boy was just trying to play around with JAM and didn't mean for him to get hurt. He said to wait it out to see if it happens again before reporting it to the school. I was still hesitant. I felt like I should report it even if it was an accident so they had it on record just in case there was another incident with this child again. After talking to fellow moms I decided to write a letter to the principal explaining what happened. Accident or not, my baby boy bled. Hopefully this is the first and last time I'll have to deal with something like this, but something tells me this is just one of many bloody battles I may face especially with the way kids are these days. *sigh*

How would you handle the situation if you were me?

To Spank or Not To Spank?

This seems like a question that has been brought up for years. Before I get started, everything that I say is MY PERSONAL OPINION. To each is own. Whether you spank your child or not that is up to you. I feel that there is no wrong or right answer to the situation and I'm always open to everyone's thoughts. I just ask that you be respectful of others if you decide to provide your input on the topic.

I grew up in a household where even though my parents were divorced since I was 5 years old, both of them spanked my little sister and I whenever we got in trouble. Sometimes it would be a spanking with the hand, sometimes with a slipper, or sometimes even with a belt. Talking to some of my peers that wasn't uncommon for us kids growing up. Now that I have a son of my own I went back and forth with the idea of spanking. I never wanted to instill fear in my children like I felt my parents liked. I've heard them a few times express that fear = obedience, and I feel that there are other ways to get the point across than make your children fear you. If you read this and it sounds like I'm on both sides of the fence with the idea, it's only because I'm still trying to figure out what works haha. I see both sides of the argument and so far it seems there's no clear winner when it comes to my son. I never spanked my son until probably he was toddler age. I would slap his hands or spank him on his butt lightly with my hand whenever he acted out and wouldn't listen after talking to him and/or putting him in time out. I learned that the time out thing worked real well until about the age of 4. I implemented the technique that they used in his preschool of having a calming time rather than the normal time out. I would send him to a designated corner for him to calm down and he was allowed to leave the area whenever he was ready to talk. If he still wasn't calm I'd send him right back and kept doing this until we actually talked about the situation calmly. Then he turned 4 and I feel like he lost his mind.

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He started throwing horrible tantrums by trying to hit, throwing things in his room, pouting, stomping, everything you can think of. I tried the calming time, I tried reasoning with him, I tried taking things away as punishment, and then I spanked him. I low key cried the first time I legit spanked him on the butt. I felt so bad but somehow it worked! He stopped acting the way he did after that one spanking. He tested the waters once in awhile, but I'll warn him that he'll get spanked if he didn't stop and that was the end of it. It wasn't until one day around Valentine's Day where I was trying to define the meaning of "love" where I questioned the methods of spanking. One thing I said about love was that you don't want to hurt the people you love. This is where the conversation made a turn where JAM immediately made a comment that caught me off guard.

JAM: "But you and daddy hit me."

ME: "What?! no we don't."

JAM: " Yes you do, when I get in trouble you hit me."

ME: "No we spank you when you get in trouble....." wait.

Crap! my son was technically right! How do you explain to a 4 year old the difference?! I honestly tried my best to explain the difference and he looked and me like I was crazy so we just stopped talking about it. I promised his that I would never spank him again as long as he listened to my words since the only time he seems to listen is after he ends up getting spanked. He agreed. However, this arrangement lasted until his was halfway through Kindergarten. I don't know if it's what he picked up at school or from the older kids, but he started back up with the tantrums X 10 and he started talking back as well! I warned him that if he didn't stop that I'd start spanking him since he's not listening to my words, but he didn't care. JAM is 6 years old now and in 1st grade and I think I've only spanked him 2-3 times since then. I decided that I'd walk away and we'd both cool down and we talk about the situation in a calm fashion instead of all the yelling and spanking. Sometimes it works, sometimes he gets things taken away. I ended up spanking him when his acting out got really bad and nothing else was getting through to him. I don't know. Clearly I go back and forth with it, but I personally don't like doing it. I thought that all this attitude stuff would come around when he was like 13 NOT 5. I love my son. There's no doubt about it, but what do you do when you've tried everything and the kids still don't respond? I even read that certain areas are considering banning spanking.

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What do you think? Should spanking be banned or should it be the parents choice?

Back to School

School is in full swing here in Las Vegas! So much has been going on to prepare for this day, which is why I need all my calendars! JAM is starting first grade and he rode the bus to school for the first time ever today. I think my anxiety was at its highest (haha), but once I saw him sitting on the bus and saw how calm he was it put my worries at ease. I've been sitting here contemplating whether or not I'm ok with the idea of bus riding. Growing up I was always excited to get my chance to ride the yellow school bus. However, the west coast feels a little different than the Midwest and I'm out of my comfort zone since JAM is going to school in a city that I don't know too much about. You think all of this would be a piece of cake after going through it all in Kindergarten, but riding the bus was a whole other ball game for me. The more I sit here, the more I think about it and I start to compare it all to last year. Aside from having the piece of mind that JAM got to school safely and into his class, driving him to school had other benefits. I was offered more volunteer opportunities (which i love), I got to witness awesome day to day experiences like seeing my little man on the school news for completing classroom tasks, and I formed an excellent bond with his teacher. I feel like when I'm sitting back at home I'm missing all of that. All those opportunities. *sigh* we'll see. It's only the first day hehe.

Here goes nothing!

Who would have thought, something as simple as letting your child ride the yellow school bus would be such an issue haha. It also doesn't make it any better that I have a year off of school so now I have more free time to let my mind wander hehe. Anyways, not only is JAM starting 1st grade, his 3rd season of soccer starts today and his religious classes to work towards his communion start in about 2 weeks. I guess it's a good thing that I have a year off of school so I can help him adjust to his busy schedule. I figured this year could be a test run to see if he could handle it all because if he wants to continue sports, his schedule will stay like this all the way through at least sophomore year of high school.

Like I said in previous posts, I have this odd obsession for calendars. I'm soooo forgetful sometimes so I have to write everything down. I have calendars all over my house, on my phone, on the computer, etc. It's overkill to some but it keeps my little family organized and in complete communication. It coordination with My Life Organizer, I have a monthly calendar posted on my refrigerator. I bought it from Walmart for only about $5. It clings to my fridge and it's easy to maintain. Everyone in the house can see it so there's no surprises about what is going on for the month. I also have a weekly dry-erase board calendar in my room to see my week at a glance. I input all of this on my phone as well, but with alarms to remind be about today's things to do ESPECIALLY for appointments so I won't be late. All of it is color coordinated so it's easy to differentiate.

I choose a different color for every month just to switch it up a little. Any regular thing like holidays and birthdays for the month is usually written in the color of the month. Red is usually for school things, green is for soccer, blue is for JAM's church classes, and purple is for any important appointments or meetings. Man! my calendar full already and I don't even have JAM's soccer schedule on it yet! hehe. Oh well. Here's to another awesome school year and everything that it has to offer!

Without a Dad

They say that a dad is a little girl's first love. So much that people say that your future husband tends to reflect certain aspects of your father. But, what do you do when you didn't grow up with a father? Who do you make the comparisons to? I always wonder if "dads" realize the impact they make on their child's life whether or not they're apart of their lives. This is not to say that I didn't know who my father was. My dad actually lives in Las Vegas just like me. I even lived with him for a little bit. Talking to people who are in similar situations than me, however, it seems that we all have something in common. We always wonder what they're up to and cling on to the good memories we have with our father. Obviously all cases vary, but it seems that even though you could have all this pent up anger and resentment towards your father, they'll still always be DAD.

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You would think that you'd be used to living in this type of scenario. Growing up with a single parent. But I'm already 24 years old and I can admit that it still bothers me time and time again. I look at my son and I couldn't imagine not being a part of his life. Mahal agrees. I think the thing that messes with me the most the the "drop-in dad". You know, the kind of father that pops in as he pleases, getting his kids hopes up, buys their love and then leaves again. Don't you realize how traumatic things like that are. It can taint a kid! Single parenting seems to be more and more common as the divorce rate doubles more and more every year. I feel that if you want to be an actual parent to your child, it has to be an all or nothing kind of deal. Also, Moms don't bash their dads. Let them learn for themselves. That's the only way they'll learn in the end run.

EVERYONE and I mean everyone used to tell me things about my father, but he was still my dad and I figured he'd never do those things to me. Then, I lived with him and grew up a little and saw it all for myself. I have my own judgement about my father but only I could do that for myself. On the flip side, Moms, if dad wants to be a part of your child's life and he's taking the right steps to do so, LET HIM BE A PART OF THEIR LIVES! Just because you two couldn't work it out doesn't mean you can't put personal feelings aside for the sake of the kids! Even though he couldn't be a great partner to you doesn't necessarily mean he can't be a great father to his kids. The two don't always overlap.

I'm not saying that a kid needs a mom and a dad to have the kid live to their fullest potential. I'm just saying if you decide to take on the roll of a parent, give it 110%. Dropping in their lives when you feel the time is right for YOU is just as good as not coming around at all. I see kids who their dad isn't involved at all and they sit there and wonder about them. Then I see kids who know who their dad is but still sit there and wonder about them. Your kids deserve better. Make the effort. Don't buy their love. It's only good for the moment and you're only deepening the emotional damage. Call you kids. Tell them you love them. Hug them tight. Care. Be involved. There's nothing harder out there in the world than to be a parent, but your kids will love you and thank you for it in the end run.

Clutter Jail

Ah, the amazing things you find on Pinterest! With the current celebration of JAM's birthday, more presents mean more clutter. Of course we appreciate all the gifts people give JAM, but 9 times out of 10 it always ends up being toys and that's more stuff that gets left around the house. JAM is at that age where he's old enough to understand the concept of responsibility. I've played around with a few different ideas on how to teach him to take responsibility for his belongings, but none of them really worked to well. So, I searched around Pinterest and found the perfect thing from iMOM! I got tired of picking up JAM's toys all over the house every night so I created the clutter jail. iMOM had a great idea to create a clutter jail for the kids items if they're left lying around and they must do a chore to earn it back. She offered free printables for it all, but her community chest chore cards to earn the items back were a little too old for JAM at the moment so I tweaked it a little.

I bought a cheap cardboard box from Walmart and printed out the free printable from iMOM. I explained to JAM that every night before I go to bed I clean up the house. While I'm cleaning, if I come across items of his that belong in his room, it'll go into the clutter jail and he'll have to do something to earn it back. I created a chore chart for him when he started Kindergarten and he started to slack on it a bit so I told him that to earn an item back from the clutter jail he must do the WHOLE day/night time chore chart for 2 days without being ask to do a job. He initially didn't take me seriously until some of his favorite things started going in the clutter jail and he complied REAL quick.

This ended up being a two birds with one stone type of deal! I got the clutter out of my living room and kitchen plus he was doing his chore chart like he was supposed to! However, as time when along, I noticed that the toys and stuff that he didn't care about much ended up getting left in the clutter jail.  *sigh* kids. So, i told him that items left in the clutter jail for more than two weeks will be donated. That definitely fixed the problem and it also helped me learn what toys he was growing out of so I did stick to my guns and donated it. All in all a great idea for this household! Let's see how long this will last until he's too old for it haha.

What type of things do you do in your household to manage the kid clutter?

The Sex Talk

Being one of the older cousins in the family, I have teen cousins confiding in me about many high school "dilemmas". One thing that seems to be a common topic is sex. I've always told my little cousins that they can always come to me for anything, especially if they can't talk to their parents about it, BUT this was definitely one topic that caught me off guard. It also got me thinking about my little one. So my question to parents out there, when is a good age to talk to kids about sex? How much do you tell them? Do you use scare tactics or do you just try to talk about it in general (no specifics)?

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My parents never physically sat me down and had "the sex talk" with me, but I kind of always knew about it simply because it's in the high school air. I had friends that were sexually active already freshman year of high school or sometimes even sooner. I noticed that nowadays kids are becoming sexually active earlier in life, not only because of peer pressure, but because they think it's cool to lose the "V card" as soon as possible. THIS worries me. Just walking around JAM's elementary school (which only goes up to 5th grade) I hear kids talking about boyfriends and giving hickies. I know every generation is different, but I swear in 4th-5th grade I was only worried about recess and cootie shots NOT getting a hickey. Yeah, I probably had a couple crushes here and there but the thoughts about boys never went anywhere past that.

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Talking to some of my cousins, I realized that their knowledge about the subject of sex was about the same. They know OF the topic of sex and the general idea about it, but they didn't comprehend the extent of possible consequences or how to protect themselves properly. THAT was scary to me and after that, I was kind of happy they came to talk to me so I can talk to them about it and answer any questions they had openly. I want to say that I'll be just as open when JAM (hopefully) approaches me or Mahal about the topic, but let's just take it day by day.

I think the biggest concern about teens being sexually active is the possibility of teen pregnancy as an outcome. However, I don't think parents focus enough on other aspects such as STDs and protection as well. When I was talking to my cousins, the things they were saying were similar to my thoughts about sex at that age. Most of the knowledge came from movies and friends, with the random scare tactics of health class and push for abstinence. I wasn't very sexually active in high school, but I don't think abstinence is realistic. It's ideal, but not realistic. See the difference?

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 All of this is all personal opinion of course. To each is own and that's exactly why I asked all those questions to intro this blog post because I'm very open to everyone's opinion and arguments about the topic. I personally think knowledge is power though. I wouldn't approve of my little cousins having sex in high school, but at the same time I want them to be knowledgeable about it all just in case. Better safe than sorry right? Being from the perspective of a teen mom, I don't think there's a right way per say on how to address the topic. I remember in health class we'd walk into class every day with a disgusting photo of someone's STD on the projection screen and our health teacher basically telling us "DON'T HAVE SEX!" They also had teen moms come in to speak to us about teen pregnancy, but every year I felt that they always chose worst case scenarios such as moms with children who have disabilities or who are homeless. Yes, those scenarios are completely possible, but it was just hard for me to take them seriously as a teen since they didn't feel so relatable to me.

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In health class they also told us about the forms of contraception available for both boys and girls, but they never explained how to actually use it properly for the fear that parents may think the school is condoning teenage sex. I feel that this is where high schools make a mistake by not thoroughly teaching the subject of sex. My boy cousin assumed it was ok to keep a condom in his wallet because he always saw it in the movies and on TV and his friends were doing it. In reality, that's not a great way to store protection. As Mahal puts it, it's like trying to store a big bag of potato chips in your clutch purse. You're squeezing all the air out of the packaing and damaging the condom. My cousin had no idea. He didn't even know that there were different sizes and types and that it's necessary to choose the right one to make it effective. Yes, he knew that magnums were for the well endowed but that's as far as his knowledge went!

Both my boy and girl cousins surprisingly knew about the Plan B pill, but didn't realize that there were risks to taking this pill consistently. I have a few 20+ year old friends that use this pill as a form of contraception, but it's called an EMERGENCY pill for a reason. Both of my cousins were still questioning the pull out method. FYI, it doesn't work! I still have friends that still swear by this but IT DOESN'T WORK! Plus, that doesn't protect you from STDs, which by the way, they didn't know that some of those diseases were for life. I guess that was kind of understandable. I remember going into health class and the teacher would show you a picture of the nastiest form of that specific STD and tell you how it burns and oozes and wear a condom, don't have sex, blah blah blah. They didn't know you can take your partner to get tested with them and how important the testing is especially if you know your partner was very sexually active previous to being with you. They didn't know that you're required to tell people you have a certain STD before having intercourse or you can get in a lot of trouble. The list went on and on.

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I felt good having an open and honest conversation with them about it all. They naturally see my day to day life since I've given birth to JAM so they know how hard it was for me to raise him at 18 years old: the sleepless nights, the fighting because the stress level was to the max, the financial hardships, etc. I was fortunate enough that Mahal stood by my side, but many teen parents aren't so lucky to have the support I did. Regardless, with two parents or not, being a parent in general is hard so you can imagine trying to be a kid yourself AND a parent. I think after talking to them I feel more comfortable introducing this info to JAM little by little as he matures. I feel comfortable explaining all the risks and consequences and most of all, prevention. Here's a STD reference that I used to speak with my cousins. In addition, there's so many references that you can use to find out about different forms of contraception. Some adults don't even know all the possible forms of contraception out there. It does branch out farther than just condoms for men and birth control pills for women. Here's a few references to help out with that:

*Birth control for women

-Birth control fact sheet

*Birth control for men & women

-Detailed forms of birth control

So, how do you plan handle the topic of "the birds and the bees" with your child?

Roadtrip!!! (2 FREE Printables)

It's been a long time since I've roadtripped with JAM, and our recent trip to South Lake Tahoe was about 8 hours one-way. I don't know what's worse, a long plane ride or a long road trip. I've roadtripped before with JAM and 9 times out of 10 he fell asleep in the car for most of the ride. He'd wake up to eat or go to the bathroom and fall right back asleep. He's been on "quick" 4 hour road trips to L.A. and the longest one was our 33 hour drive when we packed up our SUV and moved to Vegas from Chicago. However, the last time we took a roadtrip was a year or two ago. Unlike other times where it was just JAM and I in the car, this time around I'll be traveling with my cousin, her son, and her boyfriend, which means I doubt JAM will be falling asleep since he'll probably want to play with his older cousin the whole time. I tried to think back on what I used to do for entertainment as a kid when my extended family used to roadtrip all over the U.S. since it was cheaper than flying with our group of 15-20 people. Now that I've gone through the paces, I can share what I learned on our last roadtrip.

JAM was exhausted once we arrived

First thing to get out the way, packing. I'll admit, I'm a pretty bad procrastinator. I say that I'll start packing little by little, but that usually ends up meaning I'm doing 6 loads of laundry up until I walk out the door and I'm packing along the way. Since it was a 5 day trip I knew that I could fit all of our clothes in one duffel bag. Plus I knew I didn't have to pack as much since the house had a washer and dryer (FYI since the altitude is higher in Tahoe, it take A LOT longer for things to dry in the dryer). Another plus side to having a duffel bag is it's able to be compacted a little in a trunk unlike a luggage since it has soft sides. We were traveling with 2 families in 1 SUV so cargo space was in high demand. I also always pack any liquids like shampoo in a separate plastic bag just in case it spills on the way. If you like lists like me, here's my TRAVELING LIST to download for FREE. You can adjust it to your liking. I had a lot on my list since I was the one hosting the reunion so I had to travel with a lot of extra things. Plus I knew the groceries would be more expensive in Tahoe so we tried to travel with as many goods as possible.

As far as my roadtrip portion of the list, here is what I learned: bringing a pillow was super helpful and comfy for everyone, all we ate were chips and other junk food (even though we had sandwiches), I packed Gatorade for drinks but limited their drink intake to prevent frequent potty breaks, simple "I Spy" roadtrip games are fun and easy especially when you're cramped in such a tight spot, and having a MP3 playlist that has a little something for everyone in the car is grand. Most of our trip to Tahoe consisted of open land and SUPER small towns with no cell reception, which also meant no radio signal either, so having an MP3 really helped out for those long stretches of driving. One fun type of "I Spy" game that we played can be printed here for FREE. Like I said, most of our road trip was in more rural areas so stuff on this checklist were a lot easier to find. JAM is 5 and his older cousin is 14 and they both had fun trying to find these things as we drove along.

On average, most cars usually need to stop every 4 hours to gas up so these stops would be a perfect time to let everyone stretch and go to the bathroom. I already packed food and drinks so anytime the kids asked to buy something at these stops I just reminded them that it was all in the car. Most of those gas stations along the way can get very pricey anyways, especially since they were in the middle of nowhere.

Our halfway mark to Tahoe: Tonopah, NV

I noticed that it's always more fun to road trip TO the destination than to RETURN home. The kids slept most of  the way to Tahoe. When they were awake they were either playing on JAM's Nintendo DS or watching a DVD or two on the portable DVD player we brought. On the way home it was the complete opposite. They were up for most of the trip, didn't feel like fiddling with technology, and they were anxious to get home. This is where the MP3 player kicked it. We picked fun songs that we could all jam too and I recorded videos on my digital camera while the kids made "music videos". Every time they asked if we were almost home we'd try to take their minds off of it with more music and air guitars.

All in all we had a successful road trip I think. I didn't need to pull out my travel-size first aid kit that I packed and it ended up being a memorable trip that JAM still hasn't stopped talking about. What tips do you have for road trips? If you want more roadtripping ideas you can always check out my Pinterest board. If roadtripping is not your style, check out my tips on flying with a little one! Safe travels!!

Flying With a Little One: Keeping Baby Calm

Now for the biggest panic attack of them all, being locked in a plane for X hours with limited space and 100+ people WITH YOUR CHILD. Once again, JUST BREATH! It's going to be ok and you're prepared for anything (if that's possible hehe). Like I said in my first post of this series I used to try to plan my flights accordingly so that the flights weren't so packed. If I could tell that the flight wasn't full, as crappy as it sounds, I used to put JAM by the window and I would sit in the aisle seat. This arrangement could go either way. They either couldn't resist his adorable face and wanted to sit in my row OR they're like no way am I sitting in the row with a baby. Can you guess which one I wanted? haha. If someone decided to sit next to me I'd usually sit in the middle seat to let JAM sit by the window. However, it always helped to have a row to myself mainly because of the room and I didn't have to worry about my kid bugging someone else within close proximity. Plus, it also helped to let him move around, change a diaper, or lay him down once he fell asleep.

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If you think I'm crazy because you just read that I changed a diaper in the seat you must have not traveled with a baby on an airplane. Let me give you 2 scenarios. #1: have you ever seen those airplane bathrooms?! Although there is a changing table in there, you'd have to be houdini to change ANYTHING in there. #2: once I boarded the plane on one of my trips when JAM was a baby still I realized that he had an explosion. If you don't know what I'm talking about yet, be grateful haha. Anyways, people were still boarding the plane so that was a no go on heading to the airplane bathroom. As I was apologizing a billion times to everyone around me for the nastinesss and smell, I changed my son right there on the seat. Going back to my reason for taking a first in the morning 6am flight, it's because usually the crowd is older (Most 15-21 year olds don't want to wake up that early for a flight). This meant that a majority of the people are veteran parents and the passengers were nothing but understanding to the situation. Most of them were even baby talking to JAM as they passed or patted me on the back saying "welcome to motherhood". I even had a lady who actually wanted to sit by me to help me out throughout the flight because she thought JAM was adorable and she was a preschool teacher so she wasn't bothered by the stench haha.

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Lesson learned, ALWAYS bring baggies, sanitizer, extra wipes, extra diapers, and TONS of extra clothes on your flight. Keyword: EXTRA! This is the most important concept for your flight. So many moms are worried about what toys and such to bring on the plane but forget about the ACTUAL essentials. Another tip is to have a bottle or pacifier or to breastfeed during takeoff and landing to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of ear popping. If you plan to breastfeed, bringing a boppy or sling along to make that process more comfortable. Phew! We're finally in the air. Now what? If you're one of the lucky ones, your child just fell asleep during takeoff and hopefully stays asleep the rest of the flight. If not, you're still in luck! I have a whole list of ideas and things for you to bring on the plane for your little one. The older JAM got the more creative I had to get with what I packed. Let you child be a part of the packing process. Once mine was old enough, I let him choose the backpack to carry the stuff in and let him choose a couple things to put in the bag.

When JAM was little I didn't have the iPad or portable DVD player to entertain him. I did have an iPod, which I downloaded a playlist just for him. If you don't own kid CDs visit your local library! They have endless CDs for your kids, especially music from their favorite TV shows. I also brought my laptop to watch movies and stuff, but I learned real quick that it was hard to juggle. I think my laptop came out probably once on a flight. He also likes to bring his Leapster Explorer and Nintendo DS on the flight now that he's older. If you do have that luxury to bring a gadget on the plane, there are awesome apps out there to keep your little one entertained. I personally don't own an iPad (yet), but mommy friends of mine have sworn by these apps for their kids. Check em out!

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Monkey Preschool Lunchbox ($0.99)

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Road Rally Appisode (FREE)

Nick Jr.’s A to Z with Moose and Zee ($1.99)

Elmo Loves ABCs Lite (FREE)

My First Words - Flashcards (FREE)

Disneyland Explorer (FREE)

ABC Alphabet Phonics (FREE)

Peekaboo Barn ($1.99 OR Lite version for FREE)

Little Speller – Three Letter Words Lite (FREE)

If you don't have a gadget to bring along or if you simply choose not to that's ok! There's tons of other options to entertain your little one. The number one thing to bring on a flight is snacks. Especially nowadays where you have to pay for every little snack on the plane. JAM's go-to snacks were the Gerber GRADUATES® Puffs. They were super easy to travel with, not messy at all, and he LOVED them. If you plan to pack their favorite toys, try to pack ones that have as minimal pieces as possible and the bigger the better. Having to find the littlest toy on a plane is no bueno. Bouncy balls, cars, or anything that can roll and fit under your seat can become a pain if it falls on the floor. A few more great ideas are bringing playing cards, books, stickers, pipe cleaners, and coloring books. My little sister and I always brought a deck of cards or playing card games like UNO on the flight. With a simple deck of cards the games are endless. If you decide to bring a coloring book I suggest you bring a placemat or rubber mat to place on the tray to avoid coloring on the tray table. I bought a rubber mat that was meant as a placemat for on the go eating. It's a personal preference if you want to bring crayons vs. markers vs. colored pencils. You know more than me if your child would draw on themselves instead of the coloring book or on the airplane walls. If you do decide to travel with a sippy cup, pacifier, toys, and/or snacks, I suggest that you attach them to a lanyard or clip-on leash to avoid picking it up off the floor constantly. I remember a flight where JAM would continuously throw his toy on the floor and cry for me to pick it up. That wasn't fun for me or my back.

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Well there you have it! I've given you a little insight on how to fly with a little one. Now spread your wings and fly! Whether you're flying alone or with a buddy, everything with be ok. You just have to take it step by step and go with the flow. Things always vary from flight to flight so you just have to breath and have the "it is what it is" mentality. No worries, as long as you're showing initiative, no one on the plane is as focused on you as much as you think. 9 times out of 10 someone will offer a lending hand whenever you come across a crisis, but you don't have to worry about that. You're prepared and it's going to be an awesome experience!

Flying With a Little One: Going Through Security

One of the biggest concerns, especially when flying with a baby, is what are you allowed to bring on the plane for the kiddos. You should also be aware of what to expect when going through security with your child. The more I traveled with JAM, the more I learned how to tweak what was important and what wasn't. I've been traveling on the plane with JAM since he was 4-5 months old and I'd travel by myself. Although I always had someone help check-in my baggage, no one was allowed through security check without a boarding pass, which meant I was gonna go through the security check solo withh JAM. First of all, check in as many items as possible!! With all these crazy baggage fees I know it can be hard, but it'll make your trip so much smoother if you do. I always checked-in JAM's carseat and gate checked his stroller. Gate checking means leaving the stroller at the gate right before you enter the plane so it'll be there right where you get off, and you won't have to carry the baby around the airport.

I remember my first trip with JAM. The  security check was HORRIBLE. I had him, my boarding passes, purse, baby bag, stroller, and laptop. Initially it didn't seem so bad since those were the bare necessities, especially since I had his stroller to carry everything for me. Then I had to go through security. I knew I had to put the usual bags through the x-ray machine, but I didn't take into consideration everything else. I had to take mine AND JAM's shoes off, my belt, fold up the stroller to put through the x-ray machine since it was capable of fitting, and take my laptop out the bag. It doesn't sound to bad, but remember, you have to do this in 3.5 seconds. This wasn't the hard part. The hard part was after you walk through security. Holding the baby in this narrow pathway, I had to unfold the stroller, put my shoes back on, and basically grab all the other crap and just throw it in the stroller to find a place on the side and put it all back where it belongs. As I'm putting JAM's shoes back on, putting my belt back on, and putting my laptop back in the bag, a TSA security requested to check his diaper bag. No problem. I was planning a trip from Chicago to Vegas and planned on staying there for a month with my dad so I packed all his baby food and stuff in the baby bag since I didn't want it all to make a mess in my luggage (we all know how they handle our checked in bags). They gave me a hard time because I had too much food in the bag. Apparently you're only allowed to fly with enough food that will last the baby for the flight and I had a month's worth of food and beverage for my 5 month old. Long story short, a female TSA made the exception since she was a mom too.

Happy baby since mommy got his
juice through security!

Phew! After many trials and errors, I now wear flip flops and stretch pants to the fly so no dealing with belts and it's easy to slide shoes back on. JAM only wears socks (until he started to walk). I bring enough food just for the flight and buy food when I arrive. You are allowed to bring water and breast milk as long as it's for the baby. They did make me dump out the juice when JAM started using sippy cups though. I think it depends on the airport and security guard because that only happened once. I just asked for apple juice or orange juice once I got on the plane and filled his sippy cup back up. I travel with my laptop once in awhile and still bring it as a carry on cuz I'm paranoid to put it in my check-in bag. I tried to go without a stroller and that was horrible. Never again. Carrying a baby, purse and baby bag all around the airport can become tiring, especially when your gate is on the other side of the airport. It would get worse once he started walking because he never wanted to be carried and always wanted to wander. A stroller solves all that madness so I just deal with putting it through security. There have been a couple times JAM was "randomly" security checked, which was odd, but know that you are to NEVER be separated from your child if that occurs. I got checked one time and it ended up being my underwire bra *shakes head*.

Well hopefully this prepares you for your flight so you don't have to go through a crisis like I had to experience. Just remember to breathe, and people are more understanding than you think. 9 times out of 10 TSA will help you gather your things if they see you're struggling with your baby. However, don't always count on someone's help. Just try to be as efficient as you can and don't leave anything behind! For more information check out TSA's website. Stay tuned to hear my tips on how to keep your child calm while in the air. Happy Travels!

He's sloooooowly breaking down....

Do you have any crazy or hectic stories about going through airport security?

Flying With A Little One: Best Time of Day to Fly

With many families on summer break, a popular question I keep hearing is "How do you fly with a little one?". Parents always wonder, What time a day is great to fly with a kid? What are you allowed to bring on the plane for the baby? What do you bring on the plane to keep your child calm? DEEP BREATHS! With all the traveling I've done with JAM, I feel like I've earned my wings and I'm here to help ease your anxiety.

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You know your child more than anyone. As far as what time of day to travel, that all depends on your little one (if your schedule allows you to make that type of accomodation). On departure flights, I always took the first flight out, which was usually 6am, since I knew JAM didn't like to wake up until 10am. Also because I was always excited to head to our destination so I wanted to get my day started bright and early. He'd be a little upset being moved around from his carseat to his stroller and through security but since he was so sleepy he'd always end up knocking out on the flight. On arrival flights I usually booked a red eye flight. Once I come back home from a vacation, all I want to do is go to sleep. All the excitement of traveling wears off and I don't want to deal with anything once I get home. Red eye flights are more chill at the airport and my little guy sleeps through the night. Whoever picks me up handles my bags and it's home sweet home for the both of us. I did notice that when JAM was a baby he would instantly knock out with no problem. Once he hit the toddler age, he was a little more active and wanted to wander and peek over the seats. That was when I started planning my flight times accordingly. If I arrived there early enough, I'd let him walk around the area to release any last minute energy stored away. I also preferred these flights because they usually weren't full flights so JAM and I would have a row to ourselves. Always expect the unexpected when it comes to flying with a child. That way you're prepared for anything and if all that stuff doesn't happened it'll be a plus for you! Regardless, keep an open mind, don't stress, and just go with the flow. Before you know it, you'll arrive at your destination feeling like a pro flying with kids.